The Linda Family

To say the past 2 1/2 days have been a whirlwind would be an understatement.  I sit here looking at this amazing little girl, and I am not quite sure where she came from.  Sitting in church Sunday night something just felt off to me.  I wasn’t sure what it was.  I was enjoying some of the quiet, thinking about the little being who was kicking around inside me as usual.  Suddenly the name Rebekah popped into my head.  When I think about Rebekah, I remember Rebekah being the wife of Isaac, I remember her desire to be a mother, and her inability to conceive.  Of course, as a mother this stands out to me.  The next part is where I identify with Rebekah.  Rebekah prayed.  She prayed that God would bless her with a son.  And he did.  Despite the odds of her advanced maternal age, Isaac’s age, and the fact that she was barren, God blessed her with Samuel.  In the early weeks of this pregnancy, and during the weeks before I sat in the back of our church praying that God would bless us with a new baby and that he would protect us through this pregnancy.  Just as He was faithful to Rebekah and Isaac in blessing them with Samuel, God was faithful and blessed us with our beautiful Rebekah Joelle.

The whole birth process is still really a blur for me.  One minute I was sitting in church, thinking about my baby, thinking about the things we needed to do this week to prepare for her arrival, and thinking about what we could name her should she happen to be a girl.  Then we headed over to have dinner with Hillary & Neil and the boys, and then we left.  I was quite confused as to why my pants were getting wet.  I had just gone to the bathroom, and I really didn’t think I was peeing in my pants.  That’s when I realized that it really was my water and I wasn’t dreaming!  The whole going home, packing, figuring out how to get the week’s to do list done and rest, etc was quite an experience.

When we left for the birth center we said goodbye to Ashleigh and explained once again the process.  We were going to the birth center to have the baby, when it was time for the baby to be born, one of her grandparents would be bringing her join us.  We talked about how baby would be arriving in a few hours and by bed time we would probably all be home together.

The next few hours were anything but what we had expected.  When Jennifer, the midwife pulled out the ultrasound machine, I knew that things were about to change.  When she told me that my baby was breech I was hoping it was a breech position we could at least attempt vaginally.  When she told me that we had a footling breech presentation it was a real surprise.  She couldn’t tell at first if what she was feeling was a kneeling or a footling breech baby, but both are extremely rare and when attempted vaginally come with a huge risk of cord prolapse.  If there is any reason to get a c-section, this would be it.  We of course know that the end goal is healthy mom and baby, but my goal was healthy mom and baby with no interventions.

I’ll now not be allowed to deliver in a birth center, however I will be a great vbac candidate should we decide to have a 3rd child in a few years.  There are also at least 2 midwives in the Baltimore area who will do a homebirth next time should we decide we want that as an option, but at least I have seen that not all hospitals have to be like the one that delivered Ashleigh.  I have been highly impressed with the staff here from step 1.  Everyone has been very caring and helpful.  I know that both Maryland birth centers use this hospital as their back up, so they are used to midwife patients and more natural approaches to birthing than the hospital where Ashleigh was born, so maybe that plays a role.  Even the OB who delivered Rebekah was amazing and helpful and considerate.  She told me this morning that if she had been in private practice, instead of being the hospitalist, she would have waited a bit before the section.  She said Bekah had 1 leg up and 1 leg down, and if she had her own rule book (instead of the hospital’s) she would have let me attempt a vaginal birth had Bekah finished the transition into the Frank Breech position.  For some reason, just knowing that she and I held similar views on birth was a huge help to me.  When she and I were speaking this morning we spoke about Ashleigh’s birth, and we were able to agree that the OBs that delivered Ash pushed too hard and interfered too much.  It made me feel much more comfortable about this process.  While the birth experience wasn’t even close to what we wanted, we did what was best for our baby and unlike the bittter feelings I still have about Ashleigh’s birth process, I know that the interventions we had here were completely necessary for our little girl.

I am so thankful for the chance to hold and cherish our little girl.  I love the look on Ashleigh’s face when she gets to hold her sister.  It is absolutely amazing.  I spent last night and most of today just me and Bekah, and I’m surviving!  I’ve been able to change her diapers and feed her and pick her up and put her down.  I’ve gotten some work done, I’ve eaten.  Granted, I didn’t do laundry, take care of Ashleigh, make dinner, and clean the house, but I’m sure in time those things will come.

I did get a shower this evening and Wes and I took 3 laps around the floor!  I was thinking about going home this evening,and I was told that if I REALLY wanted to I could, but I decided not to rush it.  As much as I want to be home with my whole family, I don’t want to push it too hard, add more to Wes’s plate, and risk injury to myself.  So, we sent Ash home with Wes’s mom, and Wes is spending the night here.  As soon as the pediatrician and OB come in tomorrow (usually around 7) we’ll get our papers and head out.  I’m feeling pretty good today, and I had a full day, so I am hopeful the days to come will all improve as each so far has.

I also wanted to thank you all for your prayers, calls, and offers of food.  Wes and I are amazed by the love we have felt the past 2 days.  The phone calls, Facebook messages, Tweets, etc are more than we expected.  We are trying to respond to everyone we haven’t gotten back to yet, just bear with us   It’s been a bit insane around here with the unexpected surgery and all.